Cube Life 13mar09

Hello!

I have been keeping notes on little insights to my *Cube Life* that I find interesting and humorous. My last blog with these had tons of feedback!

For those of you whom have never worked in this atmosphere, I am telling you.....it is very different! The entire energy is different, the attitudes of people are different....not necessarily good/bad/better/worse....just totally different.

THE COMMON AREA FRIDGES:
Our location has about 100 employees. The break room is nice, actually. 2 microwaves, industrial coffee machine (weakest taste on Earth!), filtered water, a few vending machine and 2 pretty basic refrigerators.
Both are COMPLETELY packed with the most random food and bev items you could ever imagine! What I don't get is that they are full 24/7! Take a look at 8am or 5pm and there isn't room for a snack pack. Some take the time to *sharpie* their water bottles or items. There are the fancy Thermos brand lunch buckets and then the standard Wal-Mart bags full of random items.
When you peruse the fridge, you get a feel for the balance of the healthy eaters vs. the junk monsters.
The best is 11:45 am when there is a scramble of 10-12 employees all bumping into each other and fighting for microwave-time.

MY BADGE AND ME:
In typical big-office fashion, we all have the belt-clip rectangle plastic badges / door keys. My picture hasn't come in yet, so it is blank, but pretty much everyone has their pic on their card key. Not many actually clip their badge to their pants, actually. I do, but that is because if I don't I KNOW I will lose it!
When I arrive in the morning, I already have it clipped to me. It is on this clip with a cord that comes out - spring loaded. Sweet, because you can just grab it, use it and it retracts right back to your belt - out of the way.
The bad part is that sometimes if I am in a hurry to get in the door (hands are full or I am just damn cold!) I pull the cord quick in order to waive the card in front of the door sensor.....then I, without thinking, simply let go of the card key. The cord retracts really fast and the damn plastic key slaps me straight in the nuts! F! What a great way to start the damn day! Ouch.

REAR VIEW MIRRORS:
Each cube is laid out so that the employee faces the corner of the cube and, therefore, has their back to the cube's *entrance*. I can express to you, enough, how much I do NOT like this setup. I have ALWAYS arranged my desk, at each previous job, to face OUT. I am totally paranoid about people walking up behind me - freaks me out BIG time! Anyway, apparently I am not the only one who feels this way. Several employees have mounted little mirrors on the cubicle walls or on top of their computers so that they can see people coming. One dude has an ACTUAL concave rear-view mirror! ...somewhat over the top, if you ask me.
The problem is that it is kind of freaky as the person walking by! Think about it....you are walking back to your desk after going to grab some water and you walk through the little cubicle hallways and EVERYONE'S back is to you. However, as you walk by and look into a person's cube, your eyes catch the mirror....AND THEY ARE LOOKING RIGHT BACK AT YOU! AAAAAAAHHHH! Seriously, it is freaky, Dude! All you see is the back of their head and then their EYES looking at you. Not cool. No WONDER why so many people just stare at the floor as they shuffle from point A to B!
I have to add that there IS a conspiracy theory by some staff that the purpose of the mirrors is to know when someone is coming so that they can close a window that has non-work activity. These people sure love their Solitaire! Cracks me up when I catch them!

MY PARANOIA:
I confess that I totally am paranoid about little things in CubeVille:
1) Is someone going to do me like that ESPN commercial when dude took Labron James's chair? I would totally lose it....seriously! Whenever I see a broken chair in the conference room I freak that someone is going to punk me and take my chair. It JUST started conforming to my fat ass - please don't F with me!
2) Leaving water bottles on my desk: Can't do it. I am totally paranoid someone is going to spit or piss in ANYTHING I would leave, overnight. If I leave it, I throw it away.
3) Money and personal items: No locks on the drawers means someone WILL snoop and WILL steal my shit! No way - never leaving ANYTHING of value over $1. You want my green tea bags? Fine. Take 'em. I thought about bringing in my own keyboard and mouse, but there is no way it would last a week, I fear. I even take home my leather binder and fancy pen, each night. Beyond that, I leave the standard issue pens out in the open as a decoy to the good stuff in my drawer.
In addition, I KNOW something will disappear and I will have to go on a rant. It will be my stapler (yes, it IS a Swingline) or my calculator or something I will just happen to need that day.

That's enough for today...I have more, and they keep coming! ;)

See you at Shenanigan's on St. Patty's Day!

Cheers!

Robb